There are a lot of times that i really miss my dad but when it hurts the most is when i hear or see something regarding my sister. Not the little girl that i knew growing up or even in her high school years but her now. It breaks my heart..honestly it does. Part of me is very thankful that my dad never her saw her like this but at the same time i wonder if she would have gone this far if he'd been around. She always had a unique respect for him because of his past. I've always felt like she's a bit confused in this because it's one way she has told me that she can justify stuff. He was sold out for Christ during all the years he was married to my mom and when he was our daddy but she saw it as a way it bonded her to him and maybe that it was ok...but she's got it so backwards.
I feel like I lost my sister too, almost two years ago. It's not a lost like I'll never see her again but it's like it's in flux. I feel like there's this chance she's going to come back someday and want to build a relationship with us again and another part that i might never see her again. For someone who has always had so much life in her, I feel like she's right on the line of doing something stupid, something permanent, and i don't know how to help her. The tears have fallen once again today for her. Why can't she see what she's missing in our Father's arms? the forgiveness and the peace...

What i said at the Memorial service

I just wanted to first thank everyone in this church family, who has been such a help and encouragement to my family during this last year. We have felt the thoughts and prayers throughout this time.



Before we headed to the graveside service yesterday, we had the whole family together for lunch. During this period we spent some quality time down memory lane, sharing some of our favorite Jerry stories. This was time spent with a lot of laughter and a few tears. There were stories ranging from his early childhood on thru his years as a husband and a father. In that room we talked about a man who was a Husband, Father, Son, brother, brother-in-law, Uncle, Nephew, Step-son, Father-in-law and friend. We heard stories about how he sneezed and crashed is 57 Chevy back in his teenage years and how he showed one of his nephews how to get more food at dinner by having an extra plate just for mash potatoes. But there were also a bunch of stories about how he had saved peoples lives. from someone getting stuck under an inner tube while practicing holding her breath, to a 2 year old about ready to step into traffic and even when he was being baptized out at Sunset Bay a wave took the pastor and himself under and my dad pulled the man back up. We all sat around surprised about how many times he had been there for us, watching our backs. no matter what relationship we had had with him. But I also wonder how many lives have been touched and saved in a spiritual way, not just in a physical manner.



I know that we are not the only ones that have seen this side of my dad, his desire to put others before himself, to be a leader but also to serve. I thank God that I had the privilege to be his daughter for these twenty five years.



My mom, sister, and I decided to write a list of a few things we learned from dad.



Dad taught us how satisfying a day of hard work is, when done with the right heart and motivation. How a relationship with the Lord should always come first, then with your spouse, family, and then everyone else. He loved being at the church and instilled that in us girls. It was a privilege to be apart of such a great church family and that's not something to take for granted. On long road trips he felt their was nothing better then a grape Mr. Misty from DQ on a hot day, enjoyed with the ones you love.



Dad seemed to view life as a journey that never should be boring because boredom was a choice and he could always find something for us to do if we felt this way. When I was in high school, dad would do his devotions at about 4:30 in the morning. So, by the time he went to get me up for basketball practice or school, he was very cheery and positive and I don't think I always welcomed him with that same attitude. But now as I look back I know there's no better way to start the day then at the feet of our Savior. Dad taught us to play hard but pray even harder and that a stranger is a friend you haven't met yet.



Menial tasks were never below him and never heard a comment about mom that was critical. when she was present or not. Whatever struggles or difficult circumstances he was dealing with in life, he never let that affect his ability to be here for us as a father and husband. My parents always had a strong marriage but when dad got sick it was amazing how it even brought them together more. He taught us that crying was never a sign of weakness even for a strong man like him.



We also learned that it was ok to be a jokester or prankster but always do it with tact and respect. Dad seemed to be good at most everything he tried but never felt the need to one up others. His goal was always to make sure everyone was having fun.



My dad had a genuine love and respect for others. I thank God that he was willing to let the Lord have the reigns of his life and not try to go thru life on his own power. My dad was not perfect or bigger then life but he had a heart of love, joy and compassion that can only be had by someone who is fully devoted to the one who made this earth. I pray that the legacy that he started will not have stopped when he took his last breath, but that everyone in this room who has been touched by his life will seek to know the Lord in a way that we'd also be willing to be used by the Lord.